Love and Death

Each November our Gospels treat the issue of death as faithful Christians face it.  So ends our Liturgical Year with Advent on the horizon.

Here is a story about a death that touched me deeply. Barb had irreversible heart problems. She was on life support. The doctors could do nothing. She didn’t want to prolong ‘extraordinary means’ to live, so she opted to stop the treatments.*   

Barb wanted her husband, children, their spouses and me to be with her at the end. She told each of us what she loved about us and gave each of us a little advice. There wasn’t a dry eye in the room.

When it was my turn, she thanked me for my friendship and for being a good priest. Then she made me promise to have dinner with her husband later that month…a date we’d set much earlier, when we thought she’d be OK.  And then she insisted that I not change my plans for a vacation with my sister during the week of her funeral.     

How could she think about those things when she was only minutes away from dying? 

I/We were dumbstruck. Her focus was not on her death but on loving us. Jesus did that too. I hope I can die like that. What about you?  

*Barb was aware of the Church teaching on the discontinuation of ‘extraordinary means’ as described in the Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraph #2278.

                                                            Whose Child Are You?

On this All Saints Day, I remember Servant of God Augustus Tolton, whose burial site I visited last July.*  His parents were slaves in Missouri.  After the death of her husband, his mom escaped slavery with her children.  They ended up in Quincy Illinois.  Augustus became the first black priest in the USA.  It wasn't easy.  He suffered prejudice until the day he died. 

Today’s second reading is: 1 John 3:1-3.  Verse 1 is: “See what love the Father has…that we may be called children of God.”  What does it mean to be God’s child? 

Augustus took after his parents because he had the faith and spunk they had.  With those qualities he became a priest in the face of great odds.  But he was God’s child too. He inherited God’s quality of righteousness in the face of ongoing rejection. 

How do you take after your parents?  I look like my dad and I enjoy traveling as much as my dad did. And I have my mom’s tender heart and I’m also ‘careful with a dollar’.  (My friends sometimes call me ‘cheap’. Thanks mom!!J)

As God’s child, how do you take after God? I have a gift of creativity and sometimes I can read hearts too. I think those things come from God.

Take time to think about being both God’s child and your parents’ child.    

*see Previous Blog - Tuesday August 2, 2016

                                                                Beautiful Feet

Last weekend I helped out at St. John Paul II Parish in Milwaukee. Since October 22 is his feast day, there were special readings for the weekend.   

The first reading was from Isaiah 52:7-10. The first sentence says: “How beautiful the feet…of those who bring good news.” It was an appropriate text for St. John Paul II, who brought good news to 129 countries and to many groups of people over the years of his Papacy. In that sense he had very beautiful feet. 

Do you have beautiful feet?

My friend, Carlos, is a great travel companion.  But sometimes I accuse him of having stinky feet. (That’s not really true…but I like to tease him.)  The truth is, he is a wonderful person who has a way of picking people up when their spirits are down.  When he visits people like that, he brings them good news.  So even his ‘stinky feet’ are beautiful!

Look at your feet. Where do they take you?  To the store or to work so you can buy food for your family? To the neighbor who lives alone? To church with canned goods for the poor? To your parents or children who need a hug?  How beautiful are your feet?

                                   Persistence, Monologue and the Rear View Mirror

Jesus tells us to pray always…and not grow weary. (Lk 18:1)  The idea is to be persistent in prayer.  Does that mean we should pester God for what we want?  I used to think so.  But now I think persistence is faithfully praying over the long haul of life.   

For years I spent my prayer time asking God for favors and forgiveness and saying an occasional ‘Thanks God’.  But three years ago my prayer took a sharp turn. I read an article reminding me that prayer is a conversation with God.  That stopped me in my tracks.  My prayer had always been a monologue.  I did all the talking.

I wondered what God would tell me if I tried to listen.  So I looked in the rear view mirror of my life and then I heard God’s voice. He said: “Ron, I’m your companion on the journey…I’m your good shepherd…and I’m your best friend.”  I’m so glad I finally listened.

Have you been persistent in prayer over the long haul of your life?  How has your prayer changed over the years?  Has your prayer been more of a monologue than a dialogue?  What has God been saying to you? 

                                                                    Shared Misery

Verna Holyhead writes about the 10 lepers who were cured.  She says: “Shared misery enables people to cross boundaries.” She notes that one of the 10 was a Samaritan…very bitter enemies of Jews. So the shared misery of leprosy freed him to cross religious boundaries.                        

Our tour group in China was small.  So we knew each other well.  Two people were strong evangelicals. They repeatedly warned us: “You can only be saved if you accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior”. We Catholics see it differently.    

It was uncomfortable talking to them.  So we didn’t spend much time together. 

The last day we visited the Great Wall.  It was a long uphill climb.  I rested at the top.  And guess what?  Mike, one of the evangelicals, appeared.  He was winded. So I asked him to sit with me. For half an hour we talked about aging and what lies ahead for us.  Good conversation. No preaching. Our shared misery was…two pooped old men!

Remember: To cross the boundary from heaven to earth, Jesus shared our misery of sin and sorrow.

Can you think of a time when a shared misery enabled you to cross a boundary?

                                                                  The Debates

During our trip to China we visited a Buddhist Monastery in Lhasa Tibet. It has  600 monks!  We attended their weekly debate.  It took place in their courtyard.  Most of the monks were seated on mats under the shade of beautiful trees.  One of them presented a topic to 2 elders who sat in honored places and were clearly well regarded. 

The presenting monk quoted a variety of Buddhist masters on the subject.  Then, using interesting hand gestures, he asked the elders for their opinion. In response, the elders quoted other masters, which weren’t mentioned by the presenter.  This method of debating helps younger monks grow in knowledge and deepens the insights of the elders.      

How unlike our political debates! The monks have no desire to put each other down nor to win or lose. They simply want to better understand an issue and grow in wisdom.     

Makes me think about some conversations which become debates and then turn into arguments.  Arguments which I want to win!!  Does that happen to you?  Why does that happen?  Why is winning and losing so important to us?   

                                           Philemon...Slave-owner or Brother in Christ?

St. Paul wrote a letter to Philemon.  It is less than a page long.  It comes after St. Paul’s letters to Titus and before the Letter to the Hebrews. Try to find it in your Bible. We recently heard a portion of this letter at weekend mass.

Philemon led the local church, organized by St. Paul in Colosae. Philemon had a household slave named  Onesimus, who ran away. Where did he run? To St. Paul who was under ‘house arrest’ elsewhere. Onesimus knew Paul from his vists to Philemon.

After escaping and spending time with Paul, Onesimus became a Christian. Then St. Paul sent Onesimus, along with the letter, back to Philemon. In the letter Paul asks Philemon to see Onesimus in a new way…no longer as a slave but as a brother in Christ.

‘See people in a new way’. I thought about my family. It never occurred to me to see my parents and extended family as brothers and sisters in Christ. That lens changes how I see and love them. 

Name people you’ve never thought of as your kin in Christ. In the end, which bond counts the most? Is it the bond of family or friendship or being kin in Christ?